sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
ok first of all what the fuck
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
