I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize