Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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