it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
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Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
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Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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