I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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