I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
