Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
