What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
