hell yes lets make some ravioli
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
