I haven't been this sober since birth.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
