O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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