I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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