And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
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Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
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Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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