Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
