It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
