He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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