As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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