Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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