so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
