She said her name was "party"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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