they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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