but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
