Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
