Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
