You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
