idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
