party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
