He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize