stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
