Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
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