i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I am available for nakedness
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
