My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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