Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
