i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
