Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
