Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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