I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The feeling are messing with the penis
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
