Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
