I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
