hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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