How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize