I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize