found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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