just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize