did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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