Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize