He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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