There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
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at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
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I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
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