im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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