Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
nutella sex= disaster
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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