He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
