I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
