In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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