I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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