the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
