Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
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Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
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It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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