You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
