I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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