nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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